Don't hang on to your growing pains

Growing up is neither easy nor painless. Even the happiest childhood has its bumps and disappointments. And by the time we reach our thirties or forties, we have accumulated years of experiences and memories.


Many of those will be good, positive influences that drive us forward.


But there will also be some that invoke tears, anger, or the memories of pain.


Negatively tinted experiences make us more cautious. They can also make us distrustful, anxious, and angry. They can make us feel overwhelmed and hold us back.


Negative emotions are like blockages, stumbling blocks in front of our feet, that invoke anger, fear, or shame.


Some also manifest as physical symptoms like migraines, stomach problems, or backache, because you're holding negative emotions in your body.


Those physical reactions occur because every time we encounter a situation that brings back memories, we relive the original events, not as observers, but as participants. Even if we're not aware of it.


Reliving distress and the pain of a past event over and over is not comfortable.


But it is possible to diminish those growing pains.


Shedding negative emotions, removing yourself from the grasp of old memories, does not alter your past. It does not remove your memories.


Instead, it lets you look back at those events through the filter of years - as an observer. You will still know what happened, but the events will be memories and not trigger a physical response.